Savor This September

Not long ago I had the terrible yet wonderful honor of sitting with a loved one as they neared death. The world and its workings ceased to exist outside the confines of that room, and all that mattered was being at her bedside. The usual parade of medical attendants and visitors cycled through each day, bringing medicines, meals, flowers, comfort, and goodbyes. My beloved friend was much too young to go, yet there was unfortunately nothing to be done, and the end crept ever closer. Although, I suppose that’s true for all of us, our individual endings will always be too soon, potentially lurking nearby.

Being with dying people is much like being adrift at sea, unable to access solid ground, vulnerable to tides, waves, and forces that are far more powerful than any human. I discovered this as I glided along with her, my heart breaking as I helped to escort her towards her final destination. Everything is different when you’re floating alongside imminent death; how we use language, feel time, even the light and air shift somehow.

In the course of those murky days, I heard my friend gently repeat ‘take your time’ to nearly every character that happened upon her bedside. The nurse changing out an IV bag or her nephew carefully delivering a vase of flowers were sweetly reminded to take their time. No matter the visitor or the task, she would suggest they slow down a bit. During a lull in…